I'm Reaching Those Difficult 'tween Years!

Why the vampire Nosferatu? Because on March 12 I reach the age of 45 and officially become creepy. I suspected it in the passing years and now it is official. Somewhere along the way as time passes by you become just a little more invisible to those around you, presuming you don't have stacks of cash to make them perk up and pay attention. But now I have found scientific evidence.

I was reading 'Anti Gravity' by Steve Mirsky, a collection of his science based but hilariously funny columns for the magazine 'Scientific American'. It's what Foty-Fo year old rappers do in their spare time. In the column 'Supply and Demand' he refers to a study published in 'Proceedings of the Royal Society: Biological Sciences' which studied personal ads. No great surprises for the most part here. Biology overwhelms all the culture and civilization society and Mom tried to give us. Men value women based on their ability to reproduce. Hence younger and more attractive women rate higher.

Women look to men with two things in mind. Income, which translates to some form of security, and in a related vein they look at "risk of future pair-bond termination". Meaning, contrary to all the silly girls you have seen dating scoundrels, for the most part they seek secure types. The study showed that men know this and accept it. The lower the income the more open minded about their choices. Rich guys demanded more. With one glaring example!

Men in the age group 45-49 were seen by women as high risk. The younger the woman the more likely they saw him as a possibly soon to be dead husband! Worse, men ages 45-49 were the only group to not realize the reality of the situation. Despite their decline on the desirability scale their demands of women were three times their actual market value.

Folks, it's going to be a long and hard 5 years.

Should I Adopt A New Rap Name For My Music Career?

March 12 I turn 45 years old. This poses a great problem for me that perhaps you can help with. Last year I gave up being called by my given name Alan and insisted friends and family respect my wishes to pursue a career as a musician in the genre of rap.

The problem that has arisen is I chose the stage moniker of "Foty-Fo'", in honor of the years of experience in classic rock that I bring to the world of rap. For those of you who do not speak rap, Foty-Fo means forty-four, as in years of age. It reminds one of the gun also, so a little violent weaponry metaphoric play didn't hurt.

Now that I am turning Foty-Fi' should I change my name or stick with the one that has taken me so far in the world of rap?

Foty-Fo'

Don't Be A Blogging Hog!

Soon I will turn 45 years of age and I am still learning life's lessons. I think long ago I learned one important one. Someone famous and smart said something to the effect of... Dogs know what men don't, the meaning of life. It is just to enjoy it. I pretty well learned that one but I am still working on Mom's admonition about my eyes being bigger than my belly.

Especially when it comes to blogging.

Of course most of you are familiar with Robot Nine, the blog i work on hardest and the one that seems to be most appreciated. I put a LOT of time and work into the blog which has become more of a website at this point. Readership and the community of conversation with readers is growing and gives me and i hope you all some pleasure. I love the odd, the eccentric, the eclectic, and i try to gather it into one place for everyone to enjoy. Not as restrictive as a news blog and hopefully I will never weigh you down weigh blond jokes and such.

photobesity is my new blog that has been getting some visitors and contributions. I will focus on this blog quite a bit as I love beautiful photography and this site will feature HUGE images of random and eclectic photographs, maybe occasionally artworks also. Visit today, I think you will appreciate it.

This blog, Laid Back Think Tank, always gets great responses to the posts, but I have a hard time finishing any. Drat. My goal is one post per day, but after those other two I would have to cut out the little remaining sleep hours I have.

Now a quick summary of other blogs in case you are wondering.

Short Order Monkey. Intended to post a daily image of monkey or ape related stuff. Surely there are more of me out there. Ape lovers? I can't find the time to find them. Sorry.

Overheard Post. Snippets of eavesdropped conversations. I have several great contributions waiting. Come to find out there are several very big sites doing this already. Again, time, time, time.

Cute Times Ten - Just cute stuff. Online buddy Michael wondered why more people did not visit this site. Well, I had no time to let the world know.

Grave Undertaking. This is a local project and personal, just images and essays about local burial grounds. An experiment in writing and photography. You can imagine how a day spent out shooting images eats up the Robot Nine trolling time! I have huge amounts of unfinished business here.

Balloon Release. This site I intend to update periodically as the finds are so much fun. But today I have four releases that have not made it to the site. Argh!

Napoleon Dynamite Travels The World. This site is a fun experiment to watch a Napoleon Dynamite figure travel around the world. He has already been to Massachusetts and is now in Alaska. But he may carry a curse. Charli in Mass. had him visit and fell ill, and her camera broke. Shannon in Alaska is now the host and had camera issues and a hurt back. I may have to open the site and let hosts post their own stories and images. What do you think of that?

For now Robot Nine and photobesity will be my focus. Like a drug addles addict I have many other ideas for cool blogs. Each could stand on its on I believe. But I am going to have to stop being blog greedy and focus on the best. The old 80/20 rule. 20% of the blogs seem to get 80% of the love.

Alan

Prison Compared To Work. An Enlightening Collection Of Thoughts.

I received an e-mail the other day about prisons that included a list of the similarities and differences between prison and work.

Being a person who has always felt imprisoned at those, what do you call them... jobs, I thought this was pretty darn funny and wanted to take a moment to share it with you.

@Prison

You spend most of your time in a 10 x 10 cell.

@Work

You spend most of your time in a 6 x 6 cubicle.

@Prison

You get three fully paid for meals each day.

@Work

You get one short meal break and you have to buy it.

@Prison

For good behavior you get time off.

@Work

For good behavior you get more work.

@Prison

The guard unlocks and locks all of the doors for you.

@Work

You have to carry a magnetic card and open the doors yourself.

@Prison

You can spend the day playing games and watching TV.

@Work

Watch TV or play a game and they fire you.

@Prison

You get your own toilet.

@Work

You share a toilet with people who pee on the seat.

@Prison

They allow friends and family to visit.

@Work

You aren't even allowed to call friends and family.

@Prison

All of your expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required on your part.

@Work

You pay all expenses to go to work where they deduct a lot of taxes to pay for things for the prisoners.

@Prison

You spend most of your time behind bars wanting to get out.

@Work

You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.

@Prison

You must deal with sadistic fellow inmates and wardens.

@Work

They are called co-workers and managers!

Hope you enjoyed this short bit of funny stuff as much as i did, and thanks Debbi for the laugh.

Tiger Woods Hits Balls From Hotel Burj al Arab, Dubai, United Arab Emirates. I'm Jealous.

Tiger Woods was hired by the hotel Burj al Arab to play in the Desert Classic and perform a publicity stunt by hitting golf balls from the helipad of the massive hotel. Burj al Arab is one of the tallest hotels in the world at 1,053 feet, built in Dubai, United Arab Emirates on an artificial island.

Here you begin to get a better view of how high the helipad sits above the sea. Hard to believe but the Burj al Arab is the second tallest hotel in the world. Where's the tallest? It's the Rose Tower, also in Dubai.

Tiger was paid one million dollars to play in the Desert Classic and hit the balls from the helipad. Mind you, one million dollars no matter whether he wins or loses the game. I am sure both you and I would have done the same for half that amount!

Astounding is the word that comes to mind when seeing a bird's eye view of the helipad. Like what you see? Book a room at the hotel's official site. By the way, they are all suites and run from $1,000 to $28,000 a night. Unless you are Tiger. Can anyone say "Golf handicap. What's that."

You don't have to be a golf prodigy though to play on the helipad. Tebbis will do. Andre Aggassi and Roger Federer were allowed to practice for the Dubai Duty Free $1 Million Men's Open.

Here Federer serves to Agassi. Beware running too fast toward the edge of the court. That last step is a long way down.

Sure millions of dollars and beautiful women and amazing sports skills are cool. But coolest of all is being able to drop tennis balls over the edge of a 7 star hotel without security giving you a hard time. Yes, that's right, I said 7 star. Hoteliers only recognize up to 5 stars and several hotels had claimed 6, so Burj al Arab of course claimed 7 stars. With complimentary chauffer driven Rolss Royces they just might be a 7!

Just a friendly game right. I sure would like to see a serious match involving John McEnroe in his heyday. What a thrill to watch his opponent drop to the ocean floor.